The Sirens of Titan: An elaborate plan to make everyone just be nice to each other

The Sirens of Titan is Kurt Vonnegut’s second novel, and it is very obvious from the start (at least to me) how much his writing style changed throughout his career. I’ve read Timequake and Breakfast of Champions though, so I know what ends up happening to his writing style. The Vonnegut style that I’m used to is short paragraphs that all seem to be about nothing, but tell a complete story over two to three hundred pages. They are full of random thoughts (especially in Breakfast of Champions) that are funny because they are usually not something you think about. Sirens is different in that Vonnegut was still a young author who probably felt he had to write like all the other authors. I had a hard time believing this actually was a Kurt Vonnegut book, but there were a few elements that convinced me it was. One of those elements was the character Winston Niles Rumfoord, who is a character I’m sure I’ve read about in another Vonnegut book (I don’t recall exactly where now, it just sounds really familiar), and the presence of the Tralfamadorians, our favorite aliens that were also featured in Slaughterhouse-Five.
Now that we know it’s an actual Vonnegut book, we can start looking beyond the story to see what it is all about. Rumfoord is one of the main characters, and he doesn’t seem like a protagonist or an antagonist in the book. He’s just the guy that makes everything happen. He travels around the solar system by materializing in regular intervals on different planets. He does this because he (and his dog Kazak) flew into a chrono-synclastic infundibulum, and it turned them into some kind of wave. Whenever the Rumfood/Kazak wave intersects a planet, they materialize there. Somehow Rumfoord also gains the ability to see the future. So what does Rumfoord do with these cool powers? He stages an elaborate attack on Earth by Mars. There were no aliens on Mars, instead he has people kidnapped and taken to Mars to form an army to attack Earth later. The purpose of the attack is to unite everyone on Earth in a new religion called “The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.” The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent teaches that God created everything, and then stopped interfering altogether. Everyone is a victim of a series of accidents, and there isn’t much they can do about it.
The purpose Rumfoord has in creating this new religion is to take away any claims that God wants this or that. It asks the questions “Why would God single you out? Why does God like you more?” Obviously then this takes away all claims to leadership by divine right. Another implication of having a totally indifferent God is that there would never be any reason to pray. If God doesn’t care anyway, why bother asking him for things, or thanking him? He didn’t do anything for you besides creating you, so your thanks is wasted on him. The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent goes another step further in trying to eliminate random good luck by making people compensate for their strengths in negative ways: an attractive woman wears frumpy clothes, the local priest carries around 48-pound weights, the most attractive man marries a woman who is nauseated by sex. The purpose of that is to try and bring everyone to the same level and eliminate jealousy. It makes everyone easier to love I guess, which is the central point of the religion: just love each other, even though no one Up There really cares.
The book is very well written. Unlike Arthur C. Clarke, Vonnegut wastes no space on pointless exposition. The other two main characters life stories are very important to the conclusion of the book, Mars’ attack on Earth is the turning point of the book, and Unk’s time on Mercury is also important. At one point, it seems that the two main characters are forgotten, but they are not. I promise. This is a very linear story with a pretty important message, and even though it wasn’t as easy to read as other Kurt Vonnegut books, I still enjoyed it. I also have a new favorite quote from it:

“it took us that long to realize that a purpose of a human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.”

The Sirens of Titan on Amazon.com
ISBN#: 0-440-17948-3